I can’t hide from me, I live inside this house of mirrors

A poem by Sean Kathryn Bratton

What keeps drawing me back

Is it the insecurity, is it the lack

I draw a line in the sand, and say no more, do better

Yet here I am

I keep going back thinking this time it’ll be different

I’ll over look what’s in front of my eyes

I’ll tell myself sweet little lies and hide behind fake ignorance

The funny thing is, I can’t hide from me

I live inside this house of mirrors

I can’t just put me on a shelf, sew my eyes shut and wish all is well

Here I am, there I am, peek a fucking boo

Maybe it’s time to get real, real honest

And choose what I must do

But it’s scary and daunting to surrender and let go

What will appear in this mirror, when I’m not holding these spiked little ropes

Maybe that’s the point, maybe the biggest gag of it all

Maybe I decide who rises in the mirror, after my self proclaimed fall

But what if it’s not as good as playing pretend, with all of these little ropes in my hand

Sweet child, please, cut the pretend

Holding ropes was never apart of your great, divine plan

Kind of hard to spread your wings, when you’re trying to fly using strings

Don’t you see that’s not how it’s intended to be

You’ll never know you can fly, when you’re busy with puppet toys

You need the bird’s eye view to escape the yelling and the noise

I get it, I do, it’s just hard is what I tell myself

Oh honey, that’s just the illusion speaking, keeping your wings clipped and on that shelf

The illusion is as thick as you make it, yet, it also can be thinned out

But not as long as you breathe life into it, that’ll just make it sprout

Cut the shit, see past it

I know you know this so

Whatever you’re scared of is made of cards, this isn’t your first rodeo

I know you mean no harm with your puppeteers and strings

Controlling and manipulating at every stitch and every seam

But aren’t you tired and bored of that

Is the unknown really that daunting and worth the mad

Wouldn’t you rather have a life of ease

A life of flying with the girl that you’re destined to be

Build your faith and trust and knowing

You know how this works, it’s just your lack that is showing

I have faith and trust in you, you’ve done it before and succeeded too

Just starve the illusion and get your tower over with

You know you’re the one who’s creating all of this

You’re worth more, it’s time to pick a different scene

Pick the one that makes your heart and insides gleam

Your heart will lead the way, trust in it’s guidance

Choose a different mirror and step into it bold and blindly