The illusion of time

A poem by Sean Kathryn Bratton

This limbo I’m in is some days heaven, some days hell. I need to make up my mind, I need to balance the scale. Which world do I choose, which reality is mine. Which conversation will I hold, will I finally drop the illusion of time.

Stuck in a loop of looking, yet you’re here with me everyday. Stuck in this cycle of seeking, yet you’re the one leading the way.

Swimming laps around my mind, skinny dipping to pass the time. The last thing I see before I close my eyes, your body warm and pressed up against mine.

At a loss for words on how to say, it’s just crazy that I feel so intensely this way. It’s the illusion tripping me up, tipping me over. As if I’ve forgotten you’re right here, right now, with me; I’m the key holder.

Why is this truth so hard to hold, why do I so easily forget and then let you go. It’s like I need a reminder, “Wake up, this is all a dream. Open your eyes, you’re here with me.” My eyes deceive me, they’re only one piece of the pie. Love is eternal, and I know where it resides.

I feel you most when no one understands, when I just want to cry and weep in my hands. However I feel, big or small, you take on with ease and I melt in your palm.

How is it we read the same Morse code, how do you know what I mean before I even know. Why does the most mundane day with you feel brighter, why when we walk into any room I feel lighter. Why does it feel like the outside world is so small, and this world we’re both in is the safest of all. Why do you see me all the way through, why do I stay up talking to the moon.

This limbo I’m in is some days heaven, some days hell. I need to make up my mind, I need to balance the scale. Which world do I choose, which reality is mine. Which conversation will I hold, will I finally drop the illusion of time. So many illusions, it makes my head spin; so much love between us, my heart dances to no end.